Time of Funeral/Burial - Jewish law requires that burial take place as soon as possible. Burial may be delayed for legal reasons; to transport the deceased, if close relatives must travel long distances to be present at the funeral/burial; or to avoid burial on Shabbat or another holy day.

Shmirah (Attending to the body of the deceased) - Jewish tradition asks that the deceased not be left alone prior to burial. Hospitals should be requested to avoid disturbing the remains until the arrival of a shomer, the person who attends to the body, It is preferable that shomrim be members of the family, friends of the deceased, or members of the congregation. You may also ask the funeral homes to help provide people to do this mitzvah, a commandment that must be fulfilled by Jewish law. Tehillim, or Psalms, are recited by the shomrim.

Autopsies and organ donation - The practice of routine autopsies is contrary to Jewish law since autopsies are viewed as a desecration of the body. In most cases, when an autopsy is recommended, the family can refuse. Alternatively, Judaism does permit an autopsy when it is legally required or if there is medical knowledge that can be gained to help others. Organ donations should be viewed as an example of K’vod Ha-met, respect for the deceased, which brings healing to the living. Thus, donating organs or tissues should be considered a mitzvah.

Embalming - According to Jewish tradition, embalming and the use of cosmetics on the deceased are not permitted. Embalming is not permitted unless required by civil law.

Cremation - Cremation is not part of Jewish practice; a Rabbi may still choose to officiate at a service.

Taharah (Ritual cleansing) – It is Jewish tradition to have the body cleansed according to prescribed ritual as an expression of respect. A group of specially trained persons called a Hevra Kadisha, a holy society of men or women who wash and clothe the deceased in keeping with Jewish tradition, or a Jewish funeral director can arrange this.

Tachrichim (Shroud and burial attire) - Jewish law prescribes burial in tachrichim, or plain white shrouds, to demonstrate the equality of all. In addition, a Jewish male is customarily buried wearing a kipah and his own tallit; a Jewish woman may do the same.

Aron (Casket) - To avoid interference with the natural process of “returning to the earth,” Jewish tradition requires that an aron be made entirely of wood.

K’riah (Tear in a Garment of a Mourner) - Mourners for parents, a spouse, children, or siblings traditionally participate in the rite of K’riah usually just prior to the funeral service. This rite consists of tearing a visible portion of clothing such as a lapel, pocket, collar, or ribbon. The torn garment is worn throughout the 7-day mourning period which is called shivah. The tearing for parents is on the left side over the heart and for all other relatives on the right side.

Onen (Bereaved person) - Between the time of death and the funeral, an immediate family member of the deceased is called an onen. The onen is exempt from the performance of all affirmative religious obligations, such as reciting the three daily services or putting on tefillin during aninut, the time between death and burial. The laws of aninut, as well as all the laws of mourning, apply to the seven specific relatives: spouse, father and mother, son and daughter, brother and sister.

Services- Funeral services are typically held at the gravesite and are usually brief and simple. It includes the chanting of psalms, Eyl Malei Rahamim, a traditional prayer for the soul of the departed, and a hesped, or eulogy, honoring the deceased.

Viewing- In Jewish tradition, viewings are generally not practiced.

K’vurah (Burial of the Deceased) - In traditional practice, the casket is lowered into the earth and the grave filled, using a reversed shovel until a mound is formed over the casket. Kaddish, the traditional mourner’s prayer, is recited at the grave after k’vurah is completed. There are different customs or variations, and the Rabbi should be consulted.

Leaving the Cemetery- It is customary for the mourners to pass between two rows of people in attendance to receive traditional expressions of consolation. It is customary to wash one’s hands before leaving the cemetery. The basic reason for this washing is that whenever holiness departs, in this case, the soul from the body, negative forces try to fill the void. The negative spirits that surround the dead person attach themselves specifically to a person’s hands since the hands are the part of the body that extends the most to the “outside.”

Who is Obligated - Mourners are those whose parent, spouse, child, or sibling has died.

Condolence Meal - It is customary for family and friends to arrange for a seudat havra’a, or condolence meal, at the house of mourning upon their return from the cemetery. Traditionally this meal will include round foods such as eggs, which are symbolic of the cycle of life.

Shivah (Initial period of mourning) - Shivah is the seven-day period of intensive mourning observed by the immediate family of the deceased beginning on the day of the burial. During the entire shivah period mourners are encouraged to stay away from work or school, and to remain at home. It is, also, a time to contemplate the meaning of life and the manner in which adjustment will be made to the death of the beloved. Public mourning observances are suspended on Shabbat in view of the belief that the sanctity and serenity of this day supersedes personal grief. Mourners are permitted and encouraged to attend Shabbat services; but they are not given an aliyah (the honor of being called upon to read from the Torah), may not conduct services, and they do not display the k’riah publicly. Also, if any major festivals fall within these seven days, shivah is terminated at the start of the festival. Since Judaism teaches that the feeling of loss of a human life is not limited to the descendant’s family alone, but is shared by the entire community, it is customary for the name of the deceased to be recalled at the Shabbat service after the funeral.

It is customary, as expressions of mourning, for the mirrors in the mourner’s home to be covered, to light a yahrzeit candle (a memorial candle that burns for 24 hours), for the mourners to refrain from wearing leather shoes, and for males to refrain from shaving. In ancient times, mourners sat on the floor to experience discomfort. Today, we reflect that experience by sitting on lower or harder chairs without cushions. Greetings of Shalom between mourners and visitors are not normally exchanged. The house of mourning should reflect solemnity. Mourners shall not deem themselves as hosts who are obligated to serve their visitors during the mourning period.

Minyan (Quorum of Ten Jewish Adults) - Every day, the mourner recites Kaddish, the traditional mourner’s prayer, at a service in his or her home. A minyan is required.

Shloshim (The First Thirty Days - Twenty-Three Days Plus Shiva) - During the thirty days following burial, after the observance of shivah, mourners return to work and activities but refrain from public entertainment or social activities. The k’riah is customarily worn during shloshim. Mourners participate in synagogue services and recite Kaddish for their loved one.

Shanna (Months Two Through Twelve) -Mourners attend services to recite Kaddish for eleven Hebrew months.

Yahrzeit (Anniversary of death) - The Kaddish is recited each year on the anniversary of death according to the Hebrew calendar. It is customary to light a yahrzeit candle, and to make a donation to the synagogue in the deceased’s name as a way to continue their legacy, honor their memory, and express gratitude for their contributions to the community. The synagogue will send you the date each year.

Yizkor (Memorial Prayers Recited at a Synagogue Service) - Yizkor is recited on Yom Kippur, Sh’mini Atzeret, the eighth day of Passover, and the second day of Shavuot. The Rabbi should be consulted to determine when the first Yizkor is recited. Some Jews follow the custom of lighting a yahrzeit candle on each of these occasions, others only on Yom Kippur.

Flowers - The traditional of sending flowers at funerals is not widely practiced in Jewish communities. One reason flowers are not sent is because in death, everyone is to be seen as equals. There’s a perception that flowers at a funeral or grave would lead to wealthy people being treated better than poor people. Another reason is since flowers die; they are only a temporary memorial. Instead of sending flowers, it is customary to make a donation to either the deceased one’s synagogue or a charitable organization with which the deceased was involved as a way to honor their memory in a more permanent fashion.

What to Send to Someone Mourning - One of the most frequent ways to express condolences and sympathy after the death of a person of the Jewish faith is to send a shiva basket, tray or meal. During shiva, mourners will typically not leave the house and will need things to eat. Shiva baskets customarily contain food items, including fruit, nuts, baked goods and desserts and even chocolates. They may take the form of planned meals, or may include trays of meats, fish and other foods. It’s also not uncommon for friends and family of the mourners to have meals catered at the house. Another way to show sympathy is to have a tree planted in Israel in the name of the deceased.

Unveiling - There is no required formal custom. If a ritual service is conducted, it may be any time after one month has passed. Often it is conducted close to the first yahrzeit.